hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
