I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize