I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
