Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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