Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
