I got chris browned last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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