I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Why is your signature on my underwear?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
