My friends, they love my intelligence
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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