Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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