Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
