Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize