I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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