New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
