i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
