Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my phone needs a breathalizer
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
