you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
