i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
