did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
