How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
