How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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