Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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