My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think people are normalizing furries
Can't talk, ducks in the car
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
