I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
