isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
