I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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