All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
