Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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