She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
