Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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