She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
