I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
