Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
