I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
