the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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