You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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