Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
