Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's shark week go big or go home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
