yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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