windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
