brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Umm I'm too high to move.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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