the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
