Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
