I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
