i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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