I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
