I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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