I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ttyl tear gas
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
