In the future we'll all be gay
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
