people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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