Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
