i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
