friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
