She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
