I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
