Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
