Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
