He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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