so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
