She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
