just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
