i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
