Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
