Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
