Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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