Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
