Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
