Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize