On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
